Before I start the commentary, I want to apologize for not knowing who scored the goals for BXVI… Here’s why:
BXVI completely dominated a lacklustre “Lumps & Fines” side to cruise to an incredible 16-1 victory.
The sole goal against BXVI came about as Mike Haydon was bored out of his brain in goals, so he tried to take on the Lumps. The Lump’s striker put in a desperate tackle to take the ball of Mike and easily scored past Catherine Haydon (who is an excellent defender, but has not yet learned how to cut the angle of a strike to pressure the striker and decrease the likelihood of a goal). As it was then 10-1, no-one really cared that the Lumps scored.
That was the only blemish on an otherwise exciting night for BXVI, as they racked up their highest score yet. As the game is only 30 minutes long, BXVI scored more than every second minute. This takes BXVI’s goal difference for the season to 85 goals for, 8 against after playing 11 games, being a goal difference of 1,063%. The nearest rivals, Footloose have a goal difference of 140%… Yes, this is actually first division in what used to be a very competitive competition. The competitiveness of the competition has not changed, only BXVI has improved beyond measure.
It is confirmed that Dave Haydon scored at least a hattrick, Justin Carrick scored at least one goal, Gerrard Cummins scored several and Chico scored the rest.
Cat Haydon was again superb in defence, marking a Lump’s player who was far superior in ball control and experience, but Cat’s tenacious attitude and superior fitness, together with her increasing understanding of the game, made her a worthy adversary and allowed Chico, Gerrard and Dave to concentrate more on scoring, rather than defending.
Melissa Haydon was the reason Mike was bored out of his brain. Her incredible reading of the game, ability to judge the exact moment to tackle for maximum effectiveness and ability to distribute or run with the ball (as the situation called for) were on full display, forcing the few Lump’s shots to be wayward or taken from so far out that they never really troubled Mike.
Dave Haydon, even though he had 5 hours sleep over the previous 2 nights, was suffering jet lag from coming back from the other side of Australia the day before and had spent the weekend partying til late (he was best man at Alther Yap’s wedding), and even though he had just come back from a crippling hamstring injury, he played far beyond what was expected in the circumstances, showing his pregnant wife Lisa Haydon how a Haydon plays soccer.
Justin Carrick provided superb support during the game, showing off an entertaining bag of tricks that dumfounded the Lumps, pulling them out of position many times, giving plenty of space for Chico, Dave and Gerrard to score.
Gerrard Cummins played well, striking decisively early in the game, giving the major contribution (and goals) that saw BXVI at 5-0, five minutes into the game, which basically put the game beyond doubt. His accurate finishing has improved greatly in the last few games, which puts the finishing touch to his excellent positional sense and hard working attitude.
Chico… well, what more needs to be said, other than, on rough calculations, he scored 10 goals… Chico is the terror of the league, cutting defences to ribbons, scoring impossible goals and striking fear into the hearts of goalkeepers. Who is he? His real name is shrouded in mystery. Reliable sources tell us that his official first name is Mark, though they can’t be sure further than that. Some say he is a desendant of the great Pele, some say he is the cousin of Harry Kewell, while others put him as the nephew of goal-scoring freak Ronaldo. At the end of the day, all that is really known about him is that no matter the opposition, no matter the odds, no matter the skill of the opposition, Chico will find a way to score… many times.